“He who has a why to live for can bear almost any how.”
Ever pondered the driving force behind a fulfilled life? Friedrich Nietzsche once remarked, "He who has a why to live can bear almost any how."
These words encapsulate the essence of finding your why—the purpose that fuels your existence and resonates with others.
Identifying this motivation brings forth a bunch of benefits—heightened happiness, unwavering motivation, resilience in the face of adversity, and a total sense of fulfillment. You become a man on a mission, and nothing will stop you from reaching your desired destination.
Today, we're on a journey to unearth your why and understand how consciously living by it can transform your life. After all, you can’t calibrate all of your life’s actions without a reason for being.
The Top 8 ‘Whys’ That Men Live For
In advance of this newsletter, I made a social media post asking my readers why they rise in the morning. Someone DM-ed me in response to my question and simply wrote “because I have to take a piss.” It certainly had me laughing, because it’s brutally honest. It’s also rooted in some fact. Even if you’re in a dark, depressed state, your body will find a way to wake and move you to fulfill its own needs.
Going a step deeper than the obvious, it appears there are eight profound motivations which commonly steer men through life's maze. Let’s examine them in an attempt to spark your inner flame, or help you through a tough time.
1. Family
Love and support for your spouse, children, parents, and family can drive a man to push his limits beyond the ordinary. If you’ve ever read “Think and Grow Rich,” Napoleon Hill dedicates a section of the book to the motivating force a woman can have on a man.
“Man’s greatest motivating force is his desire to please woman!” is as direct as it gets.
Deep down, this concept probably ties into the desire to procreate and create genetic legacy. It also connects with the desire to protect and provide for one’s family. Men can endure terrible jobs simply to put food on the table for their kids. They can also survive the most horrific of accidents because of a deep, primal desire to survive for their children.
Take Formula 1 driver Romain Grosjean, who’s car was engulfed in flames after crashing into a guardrail. "Then there's the less pleasant moment where my body start to relax," Grosjean continued, "I'm in peace with myself and I'm going to die."
"Then I think about my kids, and I say, 'No they cannot lose their Dad today.' So I don't know why I did what I did, but I decided to turn my helmet on the left-hand side and to go up like this and try and twist my shoulder, that sort of works," Grosjean, recalled.
2. Spirituality
Connecting with a higher power and transcending the mundane for deeper meaning can help a man rise every day, and thrust him through the toughest of situations. The pursuits of the Dalai Lama and Pope John Paul II reflect the daily quest for spiritual enlightenment.
In more extreme conditions, faith in a higher power can help a man survive treacherous conditions. My Grandfather was 18 when he was drafted into WWII. After a year of training he was sent to Europe to serve. He told me that he prayed to God every day to “let me survive,” and that’s exactly what he did. Eventually, he was wounded in action when a mortar hit him in many places, including his chest. Miraculously, his pocket watch blocked the shrapnel from entering his heart. He was awarded the Bronze Star and the Purple Heart as a result of his bravery.
3. Service
Contributing to the well-being of others, your community, and the world at large can possess a man to rise every day with purpose. The legacies of Nelson Mandela, Mahatma Gandhi, and Martin Luther King Jr. echo the power of serving a greater cause.
Mandela, who spent a grueling 27 years in a South African prison, knew he was serving a bigger purpose in jail. His desire to unite the people of his country and end apartheid helped him survive his time in jail and rise to become President of South Africa.
4. Learning
Some men live for the thrill of expanding their knowledge, nurturing curiosity, and fostering creativity. Trailblazers like Albert Einstein and Leonardo da Vinci illuminate the path of perpetual learning. It’s a big world, and there’s always something new to learn.
This is especially true now, at the dawn of a new technological age fueled by artificial intelligence. Our world is about to change in so many ways, and learning how to harness this power can help someone wake up with curiosity and excitement each day.
5. Adventure
Exploring new frontiers, experiencing diverse cultures, and embracing life's challenges. The spirits of Ernest Hemingway, Bear Grylls, and Anthony Bourdain embody the thrill of the unknown. It’s a big world, but it’s also more accessible than ever before. With many adventures to be had, one’s desire to explore can serve as their beacon for existing.
6. Career
The pursuit of passion, skills, and excellence in your chosen profession can possess a man. Icons like Steve Jobs, Elon Musk, and Michael Jordan embraced their career as a canvas for innovation, self-expression and dominance. Of course, it’s fairly obvious to see that aside from mastery, these icons were also focused on another “why”: legacy.
7. Legacy
Building a legacy occurs when you leave a positive and enduring impact for future generations. Historical figures like Abraham Lincoln, Winston Churchill, and Marcus Aurelius engraved their legacies in history books. Lesser known people, like my grandfather, cemented their legacy in the family tree, emphasizing certain beliefs and customs which will be passed down through generations to honor his legacy.
We all want to be remembered forever; some of us just care about that more than others.
8. Survival Instinct
The human desire to survive is the most primal “why” of them all. If you’ve ever seen the movie “127 Hours,” you’re familiar with the story of Aron Ralston, the hiker who cut off his own arm to survive being trapped in a narrow canyon. Can you imagine using a small multi-tool knife to amputate your own arm AFTER being trapped for five days? Wow.
“No matter how hard it was, how bad it got, I never gave in.” – Jack Meister
In a more extreme example, consider listening to stories of Holocaust survivors, like Jack Meister. Facing unspeakable horrors, he and many others persisted, even after their entire families were slaughtered. It would have been easier to give up and accept certain death, but their instinct to survive forced them to wake up every day.
How to Find Your Why (If You Haven't Already)
If you haven’t discovered your “why”, start today. It will become a personal odyssey, and will teach you a great deal about yourself. Here are practical steps to guide you:
Reflect: Delve into your values, strengths, passions, and interests. Look for patterns or similarities in your behaviors and preferences. Even better, start a journal and write these things down. Then, go back and read what you wrote. The results may be eye-opening.
Happiness Indicators: Identify what truly brings you joy and fulfillment. Start paying attention to your inner responses to different people and situations. Try reading new materials and exposing yourself to new information. If something tugs at your heartstrings, or makes you furious, it’s a hot button. Dive deeper…
Purposeful Problems: Ask yourself what issues you want to solve and what legacy you wish to leave. Make mental note of the things that cross your mind the most frequently. Understand not just what keeps you up at night, but why it persists.
Seek Input: Consult friends, family, and mentors for their insights. You’ll be surprised how many guys have experienced what you’re going through but have never opened up to share it with anyone else.
Tools: Utilize resources like Simon Sinek's "Find Your Why" book or the Golden Circle exercise for deeper exploration.
How to Live By Your Why
Once your ‘why’ is discovered, aligning your life with it is pivotal:
Craft Your Why Statement: Define your purpose and revisit it regularly.
Share and Seek Support: Involve others and seek encouragement.
SMART Goals: Set specific, measurable, achievable, relevant, and time-bound objectives in sync with your why.
Track and Celebrate: Monitor progress and acknowledge achievements.
Embrace Growth: Embrace challenges and continuous growth within your why domain.
Stoicism Keeps You Committed to Your Why
Stoicism, an ancient philosophy focused on controlling the things that you can (hint: your mind), provides a compass for a virtuous and resilient life. Here's how it complements living by your why:
Focus on Control: Stress less by focusing on what's within your control. If it’s out of your hands, leave it alone.
Cultivate Gratitude: Nurture optimism and joy, fostering a sense of fulfillment. A good practice to start is thinking of one thing you’re grateful for each day. You can do this before bed, or after you awake in the morning.
Exercise Discipline: Practice self-control and wisdom for optimal performance. If the behavior doesn’t contribute to your mission, de-emphasize it. Eventually, it’ll fade away.
Sense of Purpose: Embrace duty and purpose, aligning actions with a greater cause. Keep this mission at the forefront of your mind, and use the motivation in moments of lethargy, weakness, fear or confusion.
Your Next Steps
Unveiling your ‘why’ is a transformative journey that leads to a more fulfilling existence. By aligning your life with this purpose, you unlock happiness and resilience beyond measure. It’ll also allow you to eventually see your strongest self.
Your mission now is to take the first step—find your why and start living by it. Share your discoveries and inspire others to embark on their own journey. The world needs strong men.
-Your Big Bro
"The two most important days in your life are the day you are born and the day you find out why." - Mark Twain
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